grief widow  widows grieve grieving

 

  What is grief?*

One of the most difficult but valuable lessons
we humans can learn is to accept grief
 as a natural response of the body
and mind to a traumatic loss.

Grief: Intense mental anguish; deep remorse, acute sorrow, or the like.
(The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 1976)

Helen Fitzgerald, CT, Training Director, American Hospice Foundation, says:
"Grief is experienced whenever you lose something important to you.
Grief is so powerful that people sometimes look for ways to go around it
rather than experience it. This approach will not work.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to work through grief
and express your feelings."
Wikipedia: Bereavement/grief:
"Bereavement is generally used to refer to a loss;
grief is generally used to refer to the reaction to that loss."

"They" say, "To know grief is to accept it..."
which is NOT to say that accepting grief is ever easy.
This all takes patience and time. But the more you learn about grief,
including its stages, symptoms and its many variations of behavior,
the more likely you will emerge from grief in reasonable time,
rather than remaining stuck in it forever.
And "graduation" from grief will be more complete and satisfying.

If I could, I would help you all skip through grief without pain. I can't.
But I hope my book, my websites, my blog and my new newsletter
will help allay your fears and anxieties to some extent,
making the road to recovery less formidable.
Understanding the process and the universality of widowhood,
 also may help you by increasing your self-assurance.

Just learning that you will survive will help you survive.

When you begin to find your way through the grief process,
you will know you are capable of much more than you were before,
and much more than you thought you were.

(Want some help? Click book to order.)

Why learn more? I say it is because...

Ignorance increases uncertainty,
which increases anxiety,
which increases the effects of grief.

Knowledge increases self assurance,
which increases patience,
which increases tolerance of grief.

When you read about the millions of women (and men) who have gone through
what you are going through, you will learn to be more patient with yourself.
Just read the "messages" from widows just like you on my support site...
http://groups.msn.com/forwidowsonly

Have you asked yourself any of these questions?

"Am I going crazy?"
"Am I dying?"
"Am I imagining things?"
"Am I losing my memory?"
"Am I the only person to have known such pain?"
"Can I possibly survive?"

(In my book you'll find the answers are: "No, No, No, No, No and Yes!")
 

Click to have it in a few days!

Symptoms of Grief: From For Widows Only!

Most widows experience some or all of the following symptoms:
 

Difficulty concentrating when driving
Difficulty calculating, handling money
Difficulty making decisions, large and small
Difficulty reading, comprehending
Absent-mindedness and general confusion
Aches and pains, anywhere or everywhere
Extreme anxiety:
       + panic attacks
       + fear of leaving home
Disorientation, as though viewing life from another world
Erratic eating patterns:
       + loss of appetite
       + overeating 
       + obsession with junk food
Sleeping problems:
       + difficulty sleeping
       + sleeping too much
       + keeping odd hours; fear of falling asleep
Extreme fatigue, lethargy
Hopelessness, helplessness
Despair, deep depression
Unstable emotions:
        + numbness
        + laughing uncontrollably
        + crying uncontrollably
        + irritability
        + impatience
Recklessness, endangering life by careless driving, dangerous feats
Abuse of alcohol, drugs

Read more about these symptoms in excerpts from For Widows Only!

 

 

"We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full."
                                  by Marcel Proust

     * Ask any newer widow. She will say, "Grief is HELL!"